Sage Monkey

Sage Monkey

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Batten down the hatches...GSP Style.

Cleo at Mill Pond Daycare last year during a rain storm

So here we are in Bucks County, Pennsylvania patiently waiting for "The Almighty Frankenstorm" to bare down upon us in the next 24 hours. The national news has done a great job of hyping this thing up beyond belief. But who knows....hell may actually be coming for us or it could end up being absolutely nothing. This time last year we got hit by a pretty intense storm leaving us with no electric for five long days. We have well water which means when theres no electric theres no water, no showers and no working toilets. You get creative real quick. Just incase, I stocked up on some items while Jim was at work yesterday. He called me on his way home and this was our phone conversation:

Me: Hey Baby, I just bought some extra cases of water and batteries at B.J.'s incase this storm is as bad as they say.
Jim: I just bought two shotguns.
Me: Uh huh.....Ok. Well you do realize its not the Zombie Apocalyse right?? It's just gonna be some rain.

I think it's high time to cut back on how much Jim gets to watch the Walking Dead. We did make sure to get the essentials tho: Bourbon, a case of wine, copious amounts of Bailey's Irish Cream, Crown Royal, marrow bones, plush dog toys, pig ears and I made homemade jerky and pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. Were all set!!

Getting all National Geographic....

I'm pretty sure most people in this area are super concerned about flooding and downed wires. I'm seriously most worried about how am I going to get Cleo and Luna to $hit outside during a hurricane.  Regardless, I'm sure this will be a learning experience. The whole scenario makes me think of the story called The Man on the Roof. It's rewritten below for those who are unfamiliar with it:

"A fellow was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help.
Soon a man in a rowboat came by and the fellow shouted to the man on the roof, "Jump in, I can save you."
The stranded fellow shouted back, "No, it's OK, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me."
So the rowboat went on.
Then a motorboat came by. "The fellow in the motorboat shouted, "Jump in, I can save you."
To this the stranded man said, "No thanks, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith."
So the motorboat went on.
Then a helicopter came by and the pilot shouted down, "Grab this rope and I will lift you to safety."
To this the stranded man again replied, "No thanks, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith."
So the helicopter reluctantly flew away.
Soon the water rose above the rooftop and the man drowned. He went to Heaven. He finally got his chance to discuss this whole situation with God, at which point he exclaimed, "I had faith in you but you didn't save me, you let me drown. I don't understand why!"
To this God replied, "I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?"

Hmmmmmm......I Smell birdies!

Any whole point is maybe what god has done for us is send two insane GSP's. It wouldn't be the first time this week they saved us. Seriously. Get a load of this. Thursday night Jim and I head to bed late...around midnight. At 2:30am Cleo gets up, which is not the norm, and she begins to pace  around the bed, scratch at the bedroom door and whine. Jim and I each do a fantastic job of pretending we are both asleep in hopes that other has to deal with the situation. I totally win by the way because he caves first and commands Cleo to get back in bed. She listens....sort of. She climbs into bed but just sits and incessantly paws at him. He finally, in fit of pure pissedoffness (I totally just created a new word there) gets up, gets dressed and opens the bedroom door to take them outside. But guess what!?! The wood insert had backed up and filled the house with smoke so thick you couldn't even breath.  I have no idea why the smoke alarms didn't go off but hell have no fury Cleo wasn't going to let us sleep through it. We did however let the dogs go outside while we tried to air the house out and sticking with typical form they trotted off to the dark edges of the yard to hunt rabbits knowing their work had been done. So my point is if this storm is as bad as they say....we might just be canoeing to higher ground (drunk) following the dogs lead. When in doubt...god has sent spotted messengers. These GSP's are so damn smart. Check back to see how we fair. :)

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Sunday, October 14, 2012

Hell Puppy Update!

The Internet says that German Shorthaired Pointers are descended from the German Bird Dog which comes from the Spanish Pointer mixed in with some other breeds along the way. I can't be certain but I'm pretty sure GSP's are in fact a potent combination of lightening, the common house robber, a sly fox, a velociraptor, a woodchuck, tornado's and a vacuum cleaner. These cosmic forces clearly banded together and created my dogs.  I'm actually going to start referring to our pack as the Apocalypse pack because lets face it, their lawless, they can over take people like a swarm of locusts, and they often plague me with their flippin antics. Which brings me to hell puppy and Cleo's most recent escapades.

Well, what's that in your mouth Luna?? The cat food plate from off the counter? Shocking.

Well it was bound to happen. Luna Lu has been out of her crate full time now for about 6 weeks. Or should I say WAS. It took about a month but she finally started pushing my buttons when left alone. Cleo showed her how to flail herself around and jump up onto the counter to steal the cat food. Cleo is a professional at this so I know at least Luna Lu has learned proper form. She also began destroying and shredding any toilet paper she could get her paws on.

What the hell is this!?!? Let's just fight in the middle of our mess and maybe...just maybe Mom won't notice. Clearly a well learned Cleo diversion tactic.

And this time Luna drug Jimbo's brand new shoes into the action. The more chewed up one is conveniently stuffed under the couch so you have to search for it like an Easter egg because that's not annoying.

But the straw that broke the camel's back and brought out the fire and brimstone was coming home to find 3 corners of my oriental rug in my dining room uncharacteristically flipped up. Why were the corners flipped up you might ask? Because Lu(na)cifer chewed the tips of them off. Jerk. So Luna got herself a one way ticket back to her crate when left alone. I actually think it's been harder on Cleo. Whenever I put Luna in her crate Cleo gives me this hateful stare like I just burned her velveteen rabbit in the yard. Whatever. Your snuggle pal wouldn't be incarcerated if she didn't eat my things!!!

Although it could have been WAY worse my carpet looks all stupid and flea bitten.  

On a lighter note Luna's mole hunting has been in full gear. I've never seen a dog so motivated to dig up moles and kill them. She averages at least one a day.  She has also gotten really good at stuffing them whole into her mouth. Imagine my surprise when she nonchalantly spit one out on the couch cushion the other day.

WTF Luna!!! Really?

Where do we find those moles? Halfway to China of course.

I totally can't wait for Jim to get the riding mower tire caught in that hole. That may make the best blog post ever. Be sure to check us out and like us on facebook: Adventures of a German Shorthaired Pointer.